Always his...
He came into my life by mistake. Wild and free. In my mind, I have slept with him numerous times. No, not making love, just holding one another.
He doesn’t know anything of this. But he knows I love him like no other. When we met, his eyes saw straight into me. I so believe.
Like I saw straight into him. Words seemed insufficient, hesitant, shy. And we weren’t comforted enough to look straight in eyes and be so, or hold a silent conversation. Like when you just sit together, side by side, quiet.
And a finger makes connect. And evolves to holding hands. Just holding hands.
My life was full, content and flowing over the brim. So what was the need to welcome this stranger to that short list of long loves? I really don’t know. Maybe that is how it works, life.
The night is still young. There are many hours before dawn. Yet, I am sleepless. I wonder if what I do is right. I wonder, 'Am I the only one this way?' Bestowed with the infinite source of love. The power to love even when it hurts.
He promises, "Ask and you shall receive." I ask for hope, one more time. I hope that someone would love me the way I love. Someone would understand why I am the way I am. Someone besides me is just like me, or at least almost…
I constantly wonder about souls, death, afterlife, the promise of infinity. Do I believe? The happening of an unhappenable. Sometimes I do, mostly I don’t. What is the later that can’t be realized in the present...will it even matter so much later…
I willed him to find a woman of his own. Someone who would pet him, pamper him, mother him. Someone who would inspire him and be his hope. Someone who would encourage him to spread his strong wings and take the flight to the horizons of his mighty destiny. Someone who would fly with him, accompany him.
And I would wait here, in the woods, wishing him luck, chanting my beads of rosary for his success and happiness. I would wait infinitely, for him to come back to me. I would wait for him to know that what he went on an elusive search was right within him, with him, always his.
*Images are mine. As is prose. All rights reserved.
Bhavna,
Thanx for the lavish beauty you see in my prose, Thanz...
Love is always simple things....really :)
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Reqqie,
Yes, you cudnt be more right....Forever in love with love....I guess its like trying to fit someone who would know what its like being in love with love...Kabir said that right Love is God...he was right...Gib too...and not hurting anything or anyone the only path to God..fits right...Love the only divine...and not hurting the only path....
Thanx for being here...basil is mine....had another connect for putting the plant there...thot u might find it...guess it :)
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Usha,
Desp romantic for life....like they say scarred for life and all that, ille....athu pole :) Thanx :)
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Cindrella king,
What a handle :) Yest I was reading name of some movie cinder -fella...
Desires exist in all minds, isnt it? Some expressed, some nt, some succumbed to, some overcome....
Thankyou for a beautiful comment :)
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Vish,
Who is the female from AD? I cud read her too...Cud find out whether its the air or just under the weather: P It isn’t any place that causes the stirring, I guess its what’s within us...that causes one to pick a muse.
Those lines that struck you f are the gist of this whole write-up...if u need to know why a person is the way he/she is, you gotta live his life, you gotta be in their shoes, or at least a bit of it....y do u think we have an insensitive bunch of people arnd us, those that think that only what they go thru is the worst, its coz they dont know...they dont realise...one small exemplar, you don’t know how a person feels when one of their parent or sibling dies unless lose one urself....
You may be right abt the many people to love part :) Maybe, I dont know for sure...when I am real old and full of life's wisds maybe I will know....
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He sounds like - he may be you :)
and so he must return to you :))
liked the abstract - unconditional sort of connection.
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EW...
I am speechless..this is so beautiful...I loved those lines..wish somebody would be able to love like me...somebody besides me was just like me..almost like me...
I too have had this feeling always in my heart....you gave words to it today...
This is indeed a masterpiece!!!
keep writing...
Neha
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Roba,
Thankyou :) Nice to know many like me...its a wealth of worlds in silence :) Mostly beautiful as its all in the mind...
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EW
Beautifully expressed - a soul's longing to love and be loved. He will come back :-)
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Thats enchanting, loved very much.
Indu
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