A Girl Says So
"A Girl says so"
Today, I am going to tell you all a story...my story. A story that always tramples and walks over hearts but mostly chosen to be intentionally forgotten. I like to call my life a story because it pains me to realize that real life is never a story and it always stabs...pinches...stings...
Deep and dark the little baby gurgled
And let out a wail, "I am here at last"
To be one among you, challenge destiny
"A beautiful child am I", she smiled in peace
And let out a wail, "I am here at last"
To be one among you, challenge destiny
"A beautiful child am I", she smiled in peace
I am an ordinary human, robust, young and full of life, but somehow no one else thinks so...
"Oh My! Oh My!", wept her mother
What can I do with a girl like you?
"Oh My! Oh My!", said neighbors and family alike
How can the poor family manage the girl?
What can I do with a girl like you?
"Oh My! Oh My!", said neighbors and family alike
How can the poor family manage the girl?
Sometimes I wonder if God was a little cruel, in creating Adam and Eve. He should have just created two Adams, equal and similar. And let that live by...Why did he create the room for all the sufferings...hatred...grudge?
Slowly and slowly the little girl grew
A dark dusky beauty yet always rebuked
Her brothers were deft and strong and smart
For they were privileged, ate and drank and grew healthy
A dark dusky beauty yet always rebuked
Her brothers were deft and strong and smart
For they were privileged, ate and drank and grew healthy
I belong to a mediocre ambience. Around me I see little girls of my age. They disappear suddenly...never to be seen again. More girls get abandoned. Sometimes a wild fear encapsulates me..."Will I also be killed?"
From dusk to dusk, she toiled with pots and pans
To make beds and cook gruel and dust and clean
She saw no school, ate no good food
For little remained after the men were finished
To make beds and cook gruel and dust and clean
She saw no school, ate no good food
For little remained after the men were finished
My little sister died yesterday. She was down with fever for a couple of days. Father did not have enough money for the medicines. She was weak right from the beginning, what to do... food was not enough for all, always. I wondered, "Why does this not happen to my brothers?". But I was not allowed to ask...
Yet she was taught manners and etiquette
Befitting a girl- to bear in subservience
To observe silence and listen to all
"Never to question" for it made girls proud
Befitting a girl- to bear in subservience
To observe silence and listen to all
"Never to question" for it made girls proud
My companions are my dreams...I dream of a world of freedom...unlimited freedom, where the chains of my physical difference get broken and I stand liberated.
Sadly she suppressed all wishes and dreams
Yet she dreamt of skies so blue and meadows so green
Maybe a life full of freedom, do as she pleased
Yet talked nothing of it, for it meant dishonor
Yet she dreamt of skies so blue and meadows so green
Maybe a life full of freedom, do as she pleased
Yet talked nothing of it, for it meant dishonor
For my father, there is no bigger achievement than marrying me off, even if it breaks his back over the debts. My mother has taught me enough... to know that, one day my mother would be judged of her worth by the way I conduct myself in my husband's home. I learnt that everything else was important... except me.
She was caricatured a perfect groom
Married in pomp, her father paying through his nose
Yet he bore for his daughter’s happiness or so he was convinced
She had a husband, bargained at a high price
Married in pomp, her father paying through his nose
Yet he bore for his daughter’s happiness or so he was convinced
She had a husband, bargained at a high price
I try hard, toil day in and day out, to serve all around me in this new home. I only break down at one moment, when I behold my beautiful little daughter. We both get beaten and bruised, sometimes for reasons unknown.
Once again, she toiled to create worthy heirs
Was engaged in relation only to bear strong boys
Her girl children were once again rebuked
For girls were burdens, a useless lot
Was engaged in relation only to bear strong boys
Her girl children were once again rebuked
For girls were burdens, a useless lot
I read a Chinese poem and I cried...
"We keep the cats to eat the mice/We keep the dogs to catch the thieves/We keep the pigs to eat our scraps/But what shall we do with a girl like you?"
I yearned with all my heart, I wish I were a cat or a dog or at least a pig!
The cycle was vicious, women destined to doom
For all she was meant ever, was to be a toy
A girl was a girl, whatever, whoever, or wherever
A product, a thing, an object to be exploited
For all she was meant ever, was to be a toy
A girl was a girl, whatever, whoever, or wherever
A product, a thing, an object to be exploited
I never belonged anywhere. My parents believed that I was borrowed for sometime till I went back to my original owner- 'my husband'. And I know, my daughters will also be returned back.
In India, a girl is a guilt edged commodity
A product that serves multifaceted purposes
An unmarried girl is an unwanted product
She's sick or got a bad character, they say!
A product that serves multifaceted purposes
An unmarried girl is an unwanted product
She's sick or got a bad character, they say!
In the travel of my life on the world's wide roads, I see my brothers and sons act wild, worthless of the dignity bestowed on them. They look like faceless vultures to me... vultures preying on live female carcasses, carcasses unable or unwilling to protest. My flesh crawls in agony.
The pleas go unheard when a five year old is molested
The laments ignored as a fifty year old protests
For what does it matter to the disastrous devil?
Whether it is five or fifty, as long as it is a female
The laments ignored as a fifty year old protests
For what does it matter to the disastrous devil?
Whether it is five or fifty, as long as it is a female
The newspapers and the television show me beautiful girls, confident and bold. I feel happy, elated. All were not like my mother and sisters... till I saw my famous daughter in a brothel. I wanted a lightning to kill me then and there.
To sell creams and face packs female flesh is exposed
Models stripped in the name of fashion, beauty so they are called
Young girls lured to a trap of glamour and lust
They declare their interests in terms of poverty and world misery
Models stripped in the name of fashion, beauty so they are called
Young girls lured to a trap of glamour and lust
They declare their interests in terms of poverty and world misery
At times, I wonder, what makes me a 'women'? Is it not the thoughts? If for once, I could forget I am a woman... if for once, the world saw me as just another living being, will it make a change?
In a land of men, what place for a woman?
Where the portrayed picture of mother equals goddess
When Durga's statue is asked to be given a sexy look
By men's galore, won't they spare even a God?
Where the portrayed picture of mother equals goddess
When Durga's statue is asked to be given a sexy look
By men's galore, won't they spare even a God?
As time staggers past, I know, how much ever I rebel at the thought, 'This is a Man's world' and being a women is a handicap. Alas! What good is the fire within me, if it is never given a chance to flame?
Is this what women is only meant for?
For every other move points only to the body
Is the fairer skin, just a bag of flesh and skin?
No feelings, no sentiments, no worth attributed to them
For every other move points only to the body
Is the fairer skin, just a bag of flesh and skin?
No feelings, no sentiments, no worth attributed to them
The woman in me mocks me, yet I wish desperately and helplessly that I were born a man and not a woman. I pray to God that even my worst enemy should not be punished so harshly that they be born a woman.
Not a Human? Not a Living Being?
No feelings or dreams or hopes or whatsoever
Freedom -We claim and celebrate
When do we gain freedom from our conscience?
No feelings or dreams or hopes or whatsoever
Freedom -We claim and celebrate
When do we gain freedom from our conscience?
Do I have the right to hope or dream? I do not know...My only prayer is that this life does not extinguish the little hope and sprightly liveliness out of me. Wherever I am, whatever I be doing, I hope I get just one chance from this world of mine, surrounded by my parents, grandparents, brothers, boyfriends, husband and sons that they do not take the stars in my eyes or the dreams in my heart.
Copyright © enchantedworld.sulekha.com 2003. All Rights Reserved.
This article was published in Indian Express, 2005.
Disclaimer: All characters in the above article are fictional. Any resemblence to living or dead persons is purely coincidental.
Copyright © enchantedworld.sulekha.com 2003. All Rights Reserved. No Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document without prior written permission from the author.
© enchanted world., all rights reserved.
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